What I Want

I want this and I want that.
It’s like we’re never satisfied at all. The world is filled with many material things that are very pleasant to the eyes. Once we get what we want, we’ll wish for something else. It’s a never ending cycle which made me believe that we don’t know how to be contented.

When will we be contented? What will make us stop desiring earthly pleasures?
These things surely don’t compensate what we lack. They can never cover the emptiness that’s eating us whole. It’s really true that happiness can never be found on things that are temporary. Things that in any moment can be destroyed and can be taken away from us.

My greatest sin is vanity. I am truly aware of this. But just like you, I am human too. It’s hard to let go of what I’m used to. All that I want is to be happy with what I have yet I still don’t get that feeling.

Life on earth is a temporary journey. They said that life-after-earth is what’s significant. With never ending needs and wants, are we prepared for the next life? With too much love for my own self, will I be able to live a life of total selflessness?

To contemplate before we act is what we should do. To focus on eternal happiness and not earthly pleasure would surely make this life’s journey worthwhile. That’s where I’m going. Little by little I am walking. Slowly I’m trying to let go of of my unwanted wants. I’m trying. I’m doing everything to at least minimize my obsession over material things and I’m on it. Let’s all do this hand in hand.

Admit It

What we often lack is honesty. Honesty to ourselves and honesty to what we feel. I guess that's where we should start if we would want to be honest to other people as well.

We should learn how to embrace the facts of life. If we're lonely let's be sad. If we're happy then let's be gay. If we’re in love then show it. We should stop fooling ourselves by trying to replace what we feel with something else.

People at times would pretend that they're happy although they're going through tough times. They would try to think happy thoughts but it’s not gonna change anything. What lies deep inside is the truth. The surface might be calm but right underneath it's broken.

Reality would slap you in the face but you would choose to ignore it. You try to be positive because you're hoping that somehow it'll change - although you know that not a thing will change. What a waste!

What I'm trying to say is that let's start being true! Let's accept what we feel and what is real. Let's not try to change our mood if we really can't. Stop saying things you don’t mean. Don’t hide behind a clown face. A mantra wouldn't change your state of mind. It'll just bring a lot of frustration in the end. Love your emotion be it negative or positive. Instead of saying "I'm ok" or I'll be fine" be strong and say "I'm sad I need your help" or “I need to be alone”, instead of "It's not happening!" admit it and say that "It is happening!".

‘Cause I really hate it when people try to hide their brokenness by saying positive stuff.

How are you?

It's been a long time since I visited this place so I want to ask "How are you?".
Just like meeting an old friend, I want to know what happened since the last time I updated this page.

My page is still as empty as before with few visitors. A sign that for so many months, my head was stripped with ideas and stuff to write. Not true.

I decided to do some changes and I started with my blog template. It's quite refreshing and I love looking at it. I might as well import some of the entries I have in my other site and change my blog title because for me, it sucks now. It's not yet final though. There are still a lot of things I need to consider but I'll try not to post too much photos or videos here. This has always been the mirror of my day-to-day feelings. This time, I would like to take control of everything that will be posted here-all coming from me.

Lately I've been feeling a little more like this page. Empty. Barren. Pointless. No direction.

Tired as always been for trying to figure out where to go, I always end up lost, scared and worried. There's something I want but I'm not sure what that is. I hope it's just as easy as changing this page's template. But it ain't like that.

I have a lot of issues in life but I make sure that I deal with every single bit of those. The problem is I just start but don't finish. I plan but don't act.

Sometimes I wonder If I'm the only person in this world who's experiencing this type of dilemma but I'm sure that there are a lot out there. I just wish that I can share with them what I'm going through right now. Misery loves company indeed.

Anyway, this is how life works and it isn't unfair at all. We all go through something then eventually get out of it. It may take a long time but definitely nothing can be left undone. It's just a matter of deciding what color, what style or what kind of template you would want to view your life just like with what I did to this page.

So there you go. That's me today.

How about you? How are you?"