When I Said Goodbye

How can I turn back from the things I longed for? I can almost see things clearly. I can almost feel its existence. Here it is right in front of me but I am not quite sure of it’s really meant for me.

I assumed. I prayed. I wished. I hoped. I still didn’t get the answers. You’re there standing motionless. Whenever I reach out you don’t give your hand. You talk but I hear nothing.

You couldn’t be the one. So I’d better leave. I might’ve wanted this for a long time but it’s much better to let go. There’s no need to wave and tell you ‘goodbye’. Just think of me as another passerby.

Franco

You have a way of making me lose myself sometimes. Little things you say or do affect me. I wish I could see through you but that’s something difficult to do. There are a lot of walls in between us and until we break down all of those, we can finally say that what we have is real. It’s somewhat complicated. We might be on the same boat but the sea that we’re travelling doesn’t seem to allow us to sail together. We can walk on barefoot but we’ll surely step on broken glasses and thorns that will hurt us both. My heart beats the melody of love but can your heart accompany the song that I’m singing? We’re on a hide-and-seek game and I am not sure if you’re hiding from me or I just don’t know where to find you. We communicate but don’t understand each other.

For sure there will come a day when our minds will finally meet - that day when we won’t need to question ourselves because we already know the answer. I am somehow tired of how things are going on. I realized that I can’t continue running towards you because you might enjoy being chased around. Until then, I will just sit and wait for you to tell me everything you want to say. Don’t make me wait for too long though for everything might sink into nothingness.

Just come up to me. We can runaway and sail the seven-seas or walk on the road less travelled. I’ll wait until you could sing the song I’m singing, until you find me waiting for you in the corner.

Dans le Milieu d'une Crise

You woke up one morning and then you realized that where you are isn't where you ever wanted to be. You're stuck and you don't know where else to go. This totally sucks. Life's a matter of choosing what's best for us. We might end up being on the wrong course but it'll always take us to a place we would call home. Sometimes, we lose patience. We ask why it's taking that long. We might want to look inside and examine if we're doing something about the failure that we are.

So today I woke up finding out that my goals are gone. I wake up everyday without having something to look forward to. I live just for the sake of living. But why am I living? What do I want in life? What are my priorities and what do I want to become in the next coming years?

Almost everyday I spend my time staring at my computer's monitor doing stuff that do not benefit me. Seriously, my day's always about escaping from reality. My time gets eaten by activities that are not healthy. At present, I live a passive life and I have no idea where I'm driving at.

It's difficult having a lot of blurred images in my mind. Circling clouds of uncertainty appear everywhere. Living a life in limbo isn't fun at all. I need to fake my emotion sometimes just to not let you see through me.

Where I am right now is not where I thought of years ago. I was a strong-willed individual until I was tied down to something that has limited all my capacities.

If you think that I am fulfilled, think again. Don't overanalyze and think that my life's a piece of heaven for the truth is I am struggling. I am lost.

A wrecking ball hit me today. I am capable. I can be the best in everything I want. Nobody has to tell me where I'm good at because I can only tell myself that. Nobody can fix this mess I unintentionally made but me.

Today’s the start. It is today!

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I need to consider Bruno Mars' take on this: "I will break these chains that bind me. Happiness will find me, leave the past behind me. Today my life begins. A whole new world is waiting it's mine for the taking. I know i can make it. Today my life begins."