My Up-To-The-Minute Life Story

There are always two sides to every story. My story is a tragic one where the main character did not get his happy ending and die. Well, maybe not as pathetic as dying, but still heartbreaking.

While thinking of how things have been in the past, what happened was the sweetest escape from the normal route I always take. I didn't know that there will be an accident in the end. Truth is, I have been warned but I was too stubborn to take the advice. I enjoyed the moment chasing butterflies. The fire kept me warm, but the flame was too hot, I got burned.

I did not die. That's something I should be happy for. But to wake up each day thinking of you and the things we normally do is like suicide. How could the brain bring back memories you want to forget? How could it be so insensitive when it knows the heart is in pain? I am not good with handling emotions. If I were to trade my brain or heart for something else just to stop thinking of you, I would do it no matter what the cost is. Every song I listen to tells something about you and it's driving me mad.

There are so many questions I want to ask, but I bet I am no longer in the position to. The other end of the line is always silent, quiet and idle. Being ignored is one of the treatments I hate the most, but there's nothing I can do other than to pump up the volume of whatever music I listen to, to divert my attention. How could you be so fine when I wake up in the middle of my sleep every day? There are so many things I don't understand and all I can do is take things the way I see them.

Although I can't act like  everything's fine because they're not, I will try to live my life as if I wasn't hurt. 

This is my story. I'm still breathing and living. I hope you can tell me your story too. Let's unfold it. Happy or sad please let me know.

Drunken Day After Twilight & That Inspiring Homily To Get Through Another Monday

It’s Monday again and most of us are gonna be having this so-called Monday sickness. I don’t really want to hate Monday. It’s the start of the working week and I have to start it right. I think it’s laziness that should be blamed, not the day.

To motivate me, I’m going to start thinking of how I’ll be spending my weekend again.

Don’t get me started on how crazy this weekend was! It’s the craziest I guess. Four hours of sleep did not drain my energy, not until some important Twilightcharacters started dying. Whew! That was something I was expecting because I’ve read that they added a twist to the ending. I didn’t know that there was more to it than that. I don’t need to hear any anti-Twilight comments because obviously, they have nothing but hate. I just want to say from one of the greatest fans’ point of view that the saga gave us a jaw-dropping ending. I must admit I cried on the latter part of the film. My friend and I had so much memories together because of these books - from re-enacting the lines, haunting the bookstore that sells the newly released book and making our way through the long line of Twihards in every movie adaptation. Now, what is there to look forward to?

Well that ending called for a celebration. Me and my good friend who wants to drink when she’s not drinking went to this bar. Both of us were hesitant because it’s our first time there. It went pretty well though. I drank too much. I almost ordered everything on the menu (Jägermeister, Margarita, Screw Driver, Tequila Sunset, Paradise, Draft Beer and Flat Line) and I was still able to go home. The place is nice and they have awesome performers. I promise to go back and earlier today, I was about to. I went to church instead. This might be my place to hang out during Saturdays! We’ll see!

I’m getting good at spending my time attending mass during Sundays. I normally would want to hear mass in the morning because it maximizes my time but if it’s not possible, I do it in the afternoon. Earlier I guess was the latest I have attended and God’s Words hit me again as the priest said. “Give your best to life”. I’ve been too concerned with fear that I often end up second-guessing myself. That sucks because that hinders me from giving my very best.

You do good, people will talk about you. You do bad, they’ll do the same. Better do whatever you got to do and give your best. And you won’t regret a single thing.

I celebrated life this weekend. I want to do the same for the coming weekends or do it on a daily basis.

So how am I gonna be spending my November 24 ad 25? Aahh I want a massage. That’s all I can think of right now. I’m gonna make this week pass by like a gust of wind and get the massage I need.

Love Life

This very moment is my favorite time of the day where my mind is at peace and my thoughts can skip, flow and run continuously without any interruption.

Few things I found out lately; although this might've been known before but I guess it's worth telling again is that you'll always get by with a little help from a friend. Life's ain't that difficult at all when you have friends who would jump into your crazy idea of singing out loud One Direction's song inside the office every single day, adjust their schedule just so you could eat with them, discuss work related issue like it's the only problem in the world that matters or laugh about just anything or anyone. It is indeed fun and it makes life worth living.

I was riding the jeepney earlier when I looked at the faces of the passengers. Some looked tired, others were sleepy while the rest are still awake with smiles on their faces. I belong to the last one I've mentioned. Then I asked myself how many times I've gone home stressed and grumpy just because of work.

We all go through the same routine everyday. We may have the same mood and same struggles but at the end of the day, we will always decide if we will let our emotions consume us or not. Today, I didn't. Today I fought the urge to give in. I turned around and owned my day.

I guess that's one way of loving life - letting the bad ones go and welcoming the good ones in!

R.O.W

Here I am staring at my monitor thinking of how to spend my weekend. I’ve been so busy last month that I realized I never had enough time to rest. For this coming weekend, I am free. I don’t have commitments or plans to go out. I promised to stay at home and fix a lot of things in my room. My closet’s a mess with thrown clean clothes, socks, pants, undies and what have you. Saturday will be the perfect day to sort out all these messy stuff, and I also would like to get more sleep, work on my fitness and eat!

I have 2 more days until my rest day. And I mean it. Weekend’s going to be my rest day because after that, I will be busier than the bees again! Life on the go is fun but we have to slow down sometimes and just lay down.

Resistant

Here comes another cyclone that will soon ruin my peaceful life. I believe we all go through a phase of rapid changes everyday. I am not one of those who can cope easily. As a matter of fact, I hate it.

Right now, I am quite contented with how my life goes. I can say that I have already established a good relationship with all the variables surrounding me. I am starting to enjoy the so-called normal life! Everything is lovely!

                                                                   

Can we just let it be? Can we please leave it there so I can be happy? I can’t take another moment to force myself that what’s going to happen is for my own good because I believe where I am right now is what’s perfect. I don’t want another rain to pour on me for what I want is sunlight.

Changes are inevitable but can we slow down for even just a minute? We get tired. I get tired too.

I have no control of what will happen soon. I am bracing myself. I am scared. I am worried and I hate it. If it’s not good for me then it’s not for me.

Dans le Milieu d'une Crise

You woke up one morning and then you realized that where you are isn't where you ever wanted to be. You're stuck and you don't know where else to go. This totally sucks. Life's a matter of choosing what's best for us. We might end up being on the wrong course but it'll always take us to a place we would call home. Sometimes, we lose patience. We ask why it's taking that long. We might want to look inside and examine if we're doing something about the failure that we are.

So today I woke up finding out that my goals are gone. I wake up everyday without having something to look forward to. I live just for the sake of living. But why am I living? What do I want in life? What are my priorities and what do I want to become in the next coming years?

Almost everyday I spend my time staring at my computer's monitor doing stuff that do not benefit me. Seriously, my day's always about escaping from reality. My time gets eaten by activities that are not healthy. At present, I live a passive life and I have no idea where I'm driving at.

It's difficult having a lot of blurred images in my mind. Circling clouds of uncertainty appear everywhere. Living a life in limbo isn't fun at all. I need to fake my emotion sometimes just to not let you see through me.

Where I am right now is not where I thought of years ago. I was a strong-willed individual until I was tied down to something that has limited all my capacities.

If you think that I am fulfilled, think again. Don't overanalyze and think that my life's a piece of heaven for the truth is I am struggling. I am lost.

A wrecking ball hit me today. I am capable. I can be the best in everything I want. Nobody has to tell me where I'm good at because I can only tell myself that. Nobody can fix this mess I unintentionally made but me.

Today’s the start. It is today!

-------------------------------------------------

I need to consider Bruno Mars' take on this: "I will break these chains that bind me. Happiness will find me, leave the past behind me. Today my life begins. A whole new world is waiting it's mine for the taking. I know i can make it. Today my life begins."