Sometimes we have to go through a lot of sufferings and struggles just so we could taste the happiness and fulfillment we deserve. We sometimes need to let our troubles consume us, think of giving up and allow hatred to rule our lives because that's part of being who we are. We get tired. We feel hopeless, yet we still need to go on.
There has been a lot of trials lately that almost knocked me off dead. I must say that I wouldn't want to go back to that state no matter what the prize is. It was the most painful stage I've ever gone through and that waking up every single morning is a curse that I would want to be saved from. I have tried escaping, quitting and even ignoring the lowest point of my existince. I searched for all the possible solutions to save me from the mess I was in when I found out that there's one thing I haven't tried doing yet - praying!
It helps a lot when you have greater connection with HIM. I have been ruling my own world when I shouldn't be the king. I have been complaining when I haven't tried reaching out to HIM. I turned a deaf ear when He told me to be patient. I was running when He asked me to stay. I kept on carrying the load when He was ready to carry it for me.
Through it all, I have already forgiven myself and I have learned to appreciate life's challenges more. For as long as I have the Big Boss' guidance, I am going to be fine. I may lose my calmness and perseverance to move on with the journey He has bestowed upon me but He will surely take me there.
I almost lost my mind and the smallest courage I have been keeping to survive, but the Lord has opened another chapter for me to enjoy. I know that there will still be problems ahead of me. I am willing to endure all the pain through God's guidance. I am now ready to redeem myself and live again.
