It's Christmas Again

There's really no reason for me to write this because this has always been part of my life's cycle. I'm going to rant again about being alone during Christmas and if you're one of those followers who often check my blog, (Well, I hope that I have even just one follower!) I would suggest that you stop reading this now! You can still proceed though because I'm not insisting that you don't.


I'm excited for this holiday just like you but I'm not into giving gifts. I still believe that intangible stuff make up the biggest gift we could give. (But that's not the case during Christmas!) Other reasons would be because I don't know how to select gifts and I don't want to be a frustration to the receiver. Let's accept the fact that not all receivers willingly receive gifts. They might have given you a smile on their faces but for sure they're thinking of something else-something they want for themselves and not that thing that you want for them. I hope I'm not making this up. I guess this is my bad trait-not giving gifts. You can curse me if you want to.


As I was walking home after work, I played Christmas songs. I suddenly felt the need to cry. I want to cry because this is another Christmas without my family. Another Christmas that will just pass by without seeing my parents and my sister. I saw friends and families walking on the streets and then I saw myself walking alone. I fought back the tears because I don't want to embarrass myself!


I realized I'm not alone after all. I have my friends too but I'm still jealous of those who will be spending this holiday with their families. I wish I could go home.


Today's the day before Christmas and I have not given enough gifts but I believe I've given enough love. I've cared and at least put a smile or laugh to every sad soul I came across with. I've not given material things but I've given myself. That's more than enough I hope.
At Christmas Eve I would still be working. There might be reasons to be sad but there are plenty of reasons to celebrate. I'm waiting for a grandest gift from God. I have a feeling that I'll get one. 


I can always decide whether I'll make Christmas another lonely holiday or the most enjoyable one. I want it different this time. If I can't be the happiest then I'll be happy person who's sad last year. 

To The Person Who Watched Me Die

This is in response to this: TO PIPOU WHEREVER YOUR SOUL IS.


Thanks for letting me know. While almost everything you mentioned are correct, it doesn't mean that I've flown away from myself. I don't think explaining is necessary but I thought you  should know.


I'm introvert because I am ever since we're kids. I never had any other friends beside you or outside the campus or even outside our clique. I don't go out of the house unless somebody would ask me out. I hate to be around with people i don't know. When I'm with them I shut my ass off (hope you noticed that. Except when I'm with friends). I don't like awkward conversations and silent moments.


You know how I grew up. I never got the chance to get or to have whatever it is that I want to have in my life that even crying millions of worthless tears, I'll still won't get them. It was difficult and frustrating. But that motivated me to where I am right now. I might've have been wishing for a lot of stuff but that was before. Whatever I have at the moment is enough. I couldn't wish for more.


A simple life is like bread without butter. Plain. Tastesless. While life is here, it's not bad to try different things. I don't know if you're referring to being "sosyal" when you compared my "simple" ways of living before but that's not it. I eat at fancy restos ( I don't know if you'll count McDo as fancy), visit malls with big names or wear this and that but hey, life's a celebration. I am here to live and it's not that I do them everyday. You've been like that once upon a time and now is my time.


I struggle a lot when it comes to having courage and showing what I have. Thank you for believing that I am good. I appreciate that you care about my talents. I am aware that I have them but I am not that sure if they're enough for me to be proud of. It's long been my problem and it's not only you who noticed that. Although I am working on being proud of them, I can't promise to do it as early as now. There are a lot of more talented people out there and that makes me a dot in the whole population.


Fancy things do glitter but not permanently. I do realize that. And I don't blind myself with fancy stuff that are useless.


I wasn't the only one who changed. You've grown into such a very strong willed woman. You take my changes negatively when I like them very much. There were traits I didn't like about you but  I've have embraced all those foreign sides. I've fully accepted all unknown and new personalities you've displayed without you noticing it. I don't have to tell you every single thing or write them down to prove the changes you've undergone because that's how life goes. You should know that.


We've changed and I wasn't the only one. You just have to accept the facts of life. I might have new priorities or not-so-big dreams compared to our childhood dreams but they can never change the way I value our friendship and even the way I treat you. I've grown up. I can't have the same views or dreams that I have before but you still have me-your BESTFRIEND.


I can no longer go back. The NOW is where I live. Yesterday's meant to be just a memory. Whatever, whoever and wherever I am right now is here to stay. It's up to you if you'll still take me or not.


I died a very sweet death.

Anawim: A Piece Of Heaven

We visited Anawim yesterday as part of our company’s yearly social responsibility. It’s a home to abandoned elderly-lolos and lolas who don’t have a family and those who ran away from home due to maltreatment from family members. It’s difficult to not become emotional when you see their faces. Who would’ve thought that these people-talented and lovable-were left behind by their family. It’s saddening that non-family members took the responsibility of taking care of them but overwhelming at the same time because that goes to show that these people live up to what God has taught us-to love one another. Lucky are we to wake up everyday with our family and with the people we love.

It was very heart-warming to have touched the lives of these people-they also touched mine. The smile on their faces, for me, was the nicest gift I received this holiday. 

You too can make them happy. Visit their website anawim.com.ph to get information on how to help.

(That’s Lola Violeta on the photo above. She loves to sing and dance and she takes care of her friends. She calls me David and wants me to gain weight. I hope to be back next year.)

My Journey With Music (Part II)

High school came and I started to be more conscious with the songs I listen to. I learned how to pick favorite songs and artists from different genre. I think this is true to all teenagers in high school during my time. Back from the days when there’s no access to the internet yet, we would have songhits collection and notebooks where we would write our favorite songs.

I was more into classic music in grade school and since my father is a Pinoy rock band lover, I woke up to songs from Eraserheads, Yano, Grin Department, Rivermaya and Parokya ni Edgar. He would also play songs from Metallica, REO Speedwagon, Bon Jovi and Guns ‘N Roses to name some.

During my first year in high school, I got so totally hooked on The Moffatts because of my friend. I wasn’t really a die-hard fan but I have learned all of their songs from their first album (It’s A Wonderful World, 1994) when they were still kids up to their first album. Their Chapter 1: A New Beginning UK Edition was the first cassette tape that I bought.

Honestly, I’m kind of hesitant to share my small collection of cassette tapes but what would be the essence of this entry if i will not open up right? Aside from The Moffatts, I also have Westlife’s Asian Edition, M2M, The Corrs Asian Edition, A1 Deluxe Edition, Baby One More Time, Christina Aguilera and Stripped.

This was the time of my life when I was so active musically. I joined singing contests in our school and performed during school programs whenever they would request me to. I was part of the school’s Star Circle Club, Glee Club and the church choir. I got to sing solo most of the time. (Not to mention that I also gained more points for extra curricular activities.)

These were the songs I sang during literary contests:
First Year - “How Could An Angel Break my Heart” by Toni Braxton
Second Year - “I Wont Last A Day Without You” by Karen Carpenters
Third Year - “You Are My Song” by Martin Nievera
Fourth Year - “Kailangan Ko’y Ikaw” by Ogie Alcasid

It’s very difficult to find a competition piece in the province because we can only make use of what we have.

It was in high school that Christina Aguilera became my favorite artist after hearing “I Turn To You”. I also liked Britney Spears but not as much as Christina.

I can honestly say that the best songs can be found during this time. Compared to what we hear nowadays, songs when I was in high school have deep meaning. They talk more about feelings. Sometimes, you have to read between the lines just to understand them. Whenever I think of songs in the past, time brings me to this era when music sounds good.

My Journey With Music (Part I)

Growing up in a family who loves to sing would surely make you addicted to music as well. This might not be the case to all but that’s what happened to me. Singing has always been our favorite past time when I was still little and even until now. We just love to sing. It’s funny that in our town, we’re regarded as a family of singers-not my last name but my middle. We would always be invited to join contests and perform on special occasions like birthdays, rallies, school programs, etc.

I sing for myself and not for anyone else. I hate joining contests not because I’m afraid of losing but I’m totally a shy person. I sing at family gatherings but not when an “outsider” is present. There was a point that my parents got mad at me because I did not sing in front of our visitors. I was able to overcome this somehow. When I was studying, I sang my heart out just to be voted by students (at least it worked for I’ve always been part of the student body) or to save our team during literary contests in high school.

When I was young I think I have a good singing voice because I could hit high notes until puberty killed it.

So what’s the reason behind this post? I will be listing all the songs that are memorable- songs that I grew up with.

Lost in Your Eyes by Debbie Gibson - the first song I learned when I was about 3 years old. That’s according to my mother.

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus- the first song I sang at a Church’s Christmas celebration. They promised to give me a hundred bucks after the performance.

25 Minutes by MLTR- if I could erase this in my childhood memory, I would. It was my father’s idea for me to sing this at our school’s closing exercises during elementary and my first performance at school. I don’t like this song but I earned a lot of friends and I became popular after this.

Now and Forever by Richard Marx- when I joined the student body, I was asked by my party to sing so that our team will be recognized by the students and it actually helped us win. The falsetto part of this song was very challenging for I still don’t know how to do it when I was in grade five.

Payapang Daigdig- this is the song for that diaper commercial and whenever I hear it, it reminds me of the first singing competition I joined in for our school. It was a regional competition and I competed with almost 25 pupils from different schools. We sang the same piece and I came on third place.

Quién Será- the Spanish version of Sway. My teacher asked me to perform this during the awarding ceremony. He even asked me to do the cha-cha while singing which I did not do anyway ‘cause I thought it was embarrassing.

SINGAPORE: Day Five

This is the last day that ended up pretty rough and uncool. Can’t say much about it but if I could remove this from my memory I would. I will try not to remember this day except the beautiful Changi Airport.

SINGAPORE: Day Four

The main event! We woke up early to go to Universal Studios. If I’ve been trying very hard to be happy the past few days, this day was when I got totally stoked. We were able to watch all the attractions.

Let me list down all of them in order:
1. Enchanted Airways – Our very first ride. This made me shout like crazy but was short-lived because it was just for one round for about 53 minutes. I felt sorry that I did not feel dizzy.

2. Shrek 4-D Adventure – we saw, heard and felt all the action inside the theatre. We got a little wet and cold from the effects they used. Even if we knew that it’s just water, you would feel kind of repulsive whenever Donkey sneezes.

3. Donkey Live – this is the stage show that I did not enjoy (maybe because it’s intended for kids).

4. Canopy Flyer – this is another 53-minute ride that would make you scream at the top of your lungs then afterwards you’ll ask “Is it already over?”. This would make you ask for more!

5. Waterworld – one of my most favorite films. The stunts and explosion left me in awe. The characters joined the crowd even before the show started and what was cool was that they threw buckets of water and used water gun to make us all wet. This was the coolest show ever.

6. Revenge of the Mummy – we rode this twice after getting wet at Jurrasic Park Rapids Adventure. The most amazing of all the attractions. We plunged into total darkness on this indoor roller coaster like we’ll just die any moment. After the ride, we saw our photos outside and there I saw myself showing my honest emotion-mouth and eyes widely opened. It was scary just going to the rides because there were scary backgrounds, tombs and fences along the way. Yeah, I liked it super. 

7. Lights, Camera, Action! Hosted by Steven Spielberg – I know Steven but I haven’t seen him yet. It was the first time that I saw him on screen. This made us see how special effects are being done. The set was about a major hurricane ready to hit New York City. It looked very real and I was blown away. This made me sing “I Will Talk and Hollywood Will Listen” by Robbie Williamsbecause this song has a line about the director.

8. Jurrasic Park Rapid’s Adventure – the version of our Enchanted Kingdom’sRio Grande. The outside notice told us that we will really get wet. We saw others wearing raincoat-like stuff. We did not mind buying our own and continued chatting while on queue. I was feeling lucky because I was dry compared to the others until the final blow hit me (this happened to me atEnchanted Kingdom as well). I was wet. Totally wet. Good thing I brought an extra shirt. The other issue got resolved when I bought shorts at the Universal Studios Store. 

9. Pantages Hollywood Theatre – this day’s theme was about Universal Classic Monsters. This is a musical show wherein the lead guy named Henry Preston Jerkyll transformed these monsters into modern Rock ‘n Roll stars. They’re good performers and they all look good. I enjoyed it as well but since this was the last show, I don’t have enough energy to clap my hands or to dance to the beat yet, I still tried. 

We did not try the other attractions and rides that were intended for kids because we didn’t want to bore ourselves again. I forgot about my colds and headache. We ate at Discovery Food Court where we both fell in love withChicken Hainanese Rice. This day wouldn’t be complete without taking pictures. I made a major boo-boo by not checking our camera the night before our visit. We only got two bars and it died right on time. We made use of my mobile phone on some photos. We could’ve had plenty of pictures. My bestfriend didn’t stop nagging (the thing that she’s good at all the time) about this. She got mad again but I just ignored her (I’m good at this).

We finished the trip by shopping some items at the place. We had dinner at the food court at Little India and indulged ourselves with Tiger Beer andHeineken.

Tomorrow’s our last day and I’m just starting to love the place. Got to pack my bags now.

SINGAPORE: Day Three

Hmmm so what did we do on the third day? This is going to be tough to narrate because I went home late and I never had the time to write everything that happened during the day.

We were able to visit Chinatown and Bugis. That was our plan. I was glad seeing Chinese people. I thought I was in Binondo and again, there were Filipinos all over the place. People’s plaza is in this place and I remember last night while we were at Clark Quay, there were two Filipinos who asked us if we know where People’s Plaza is. Of course we said, “we don’t know”. It means that they were on the wrong place. Poor them. 

Chinatown is where I bought my pasalubong. I’m on a tight budget so I ask for forgiveness to those who’re expecting something from me.

We mastered riding the train and I’m familiar with all the stations. Traveling via train is no longer a problem with us. We went to Bugis, and the people there are “jologs”. There are lots of teenagers na “maporma”. I can’t help but admire most of them. This is where we waited for my friend’s friends again. After eating, we went back to Clark Quay, and got drunk. This day proved that I know how to pretend I’m not talkative, that I can keep my mouth close for a span of more than six hours. It was our first time to ride the bus and we used EZ link card to pay for our bus fare! It’s so convenient! This place really makes me want to stay. But life is not all about drinking and socializing! What’s happening is like a dream. I need to wake up soon.

This is the second day that we went home smelling like alcohol. I slept early because I wasn’t feeling well. I have colds and a little headache. I should feel better tomorrow.

SINGAPORE: Day Two

Hungry! Good thing we have free breakfast at the hostel. I thought we’ll have the whole day to rest but my bestfriend’s friends decided to meet up with her. I being her only companion need to join her. 

We went to Orchard Road where we saw/heard a lot of Filipinos. It was fun hearing and recognizing them. Orchard Road holds a lot of shopping malls with designer stuff. I hope one day I would be able to buy some of those. 

It was tiring to walk around the place and my bag’s full of leaflets given by some agents on the streets. I was asked to apply for a student credit card (OMG it means that to their eyes, I look young!) and to have a photo with the L’orealladies (but I declined because my friends left me and they’re on the other side of the street already. Sometimes travelers would ask us directions like were natives.

Clark Quay reminds me of Malate because of its busy night life-drinks and bars here, there and everywhere. The place is much nicer though and you should know the reason why. We’re a bit lucky because they celebrated Halloween this year and people took part by wearing costumes. 

We enjoyed the show but we’re too tired again. We drank at the nearest bar in our hostel and had reunion with San Mig Light. It’s been a long time since I tasted it so I got totally excited and drunk afterwards. 

I can’t believe that people live their lives walking such great distance everyday. This is what I complain about. Nevertheless, I enjoy every scenery and people I meet everyday.

SINGAPORE: Day One

There were a lot of things I noticed that made this place a far more cry from thePhilippines aside from the clean surroundings. Last night on our way to the airport, the taxi driver asked for a flat rate fare of P250 instead of running his meter. I despise taxi drivers in our country because I never had any good experience with them. To continue my story, my bestfriend asked that he run the meter but he still insisted on us adding P50 pesos. We both agreed to stop the argument. Why are Filipinos like that? Why are we so greedy?

When we arrived in Singapore we also rode the taxi to make our lives easier. The taxi driver doesn’t speak English that good. We can’t even understand him but he tried his best to help us. He offered to call the hostel to get direction but we gave him the landmarks. When he understood the direction, he immediately drove us to the place. Since we both don’t know the exact location, when we got to the street where the hostel should be located, he went out of the car to ask directions from the people on the streets. I was touched by the old man’s courtesy and his willingness to help. I thought of the Filipino taxi driver last night and all that I can remember is disappointment. 

Buying sim card in this country is not as easy as buying candy. You must be registered first. The store owner asked for my passport and after getting my name, he started calling me by my first name during the entire conversation. As a matter of fact, when we left the freebie from the simcard that I purchased, he ran down the street and hollered for my first name. It was cool. He made me feel like we knew each other. 

An on and off good/bad day started my first day here. My bestfriend and I don’t know much about the place and unfortunately our friends are busy working. We first surveyed the place where we will be staying and I got scared of the things I see around me. We wandered through Little India and the place made me feel uncomfortable, maybe because of culture shock or maybe because I’m not a fan of Indian stuff. 

We both had our moments. Her tummy’s sick and I am bored. To be honest, I wasn’t really excited about this trip. I joined her because I promised and the fare’s free. We’re both burning with hot temper which is not good because we ended up mad with each other so we slept first to replenish the energy we lost. 

People in this place use the train as their main transportation so we decided to buy an EZ link card that will allow us to use the train. We went to Marina Bay thinking that we’ll see the famous water-spitting merlion. Would you believe that we walked 360 degrees just to get to Merly which was located near the Fullerton Hotel? It was indeed very tiring but we can’t do anything. We’re already there. We met with a friend and later on we had another walk to theMRT station to eat and to close the day. 

We spent this day walking and making ourselves familiar with the place. We saw a lot of people from different nationalities and smelled the body-odor-infected air. At least we know how to ride the train now. We’ll not get lost that I am sure of. 

Surviving the first day means surviving the coming days as well.