The End Where I Begin

You and I are like candles being burnt on both ends. We're glowing. You give light to me but before we know it, we've already melted and died. I felt a spark when I first saw you. I never thought that I will only feel it for awhile.

Soon I will forget you. You will be just another memory. You’re someone I want to keep but time would not let me do it. There’s no reason to hold on for no matter how strong my grip is, you would just slip away.

I am starting to make my world turn into its own axis like before. The impact when our stars collided might’ve made its mark, but there’s no reason left to make it known.

Every now and then, butterflies in my tummy flutter their wings whenever I think of the first time our eyes met. It happened not just once or twice. I was sure enough that from that moment, you will make my heart sing. Not knowing that the melody will soon fade away.

I will lose you forever but I still thank you for this feeling I am feeling.

Our story has not yet started for it has already ended.

Debido a que soy muy malo.

There’s a person I created inside my head. Someone meant to be with me forever. And whenever I feel that person’s not real, I get depressed. I get sad. I begin to think that life is unfair when it’s not.

I don’t know what’s in me that make me unlovable.  I don’t have the slightest idea why no one likes me. (I know somebody does but I don’t feel the same way.) I like the one who doesn't like me and that sucks.

Sometimes I wish I have control over the things that I like. I wish it’s that easy to make someone fall for me so that even just for a moment, I won’t be trapped with this imaginary being.

It’s tiring. I see a lot of faces in the crowd and I would usually hope that somehow, someone would notice me. For so long now it never happened to me (who would know anyway?)

This heart beats for the wrong person most of the time and it falls so easily. If only I can go on living without one, I would give it away. 

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At this very moment, I am missing someone who doesn't deserve to be missed. 

My PUKE!

Ok. Yesterday was the last day of our training and today my head is spinning because the many shots I drank last night. We celebrated the end of the 3-week classroom-like scenario. At last, I’ll be free from recitations and quizzes. But I guess I’ll never be free from shame when I vomited yesterday. That was totally out of control. I got rowdy that my legs are kind of sore right now. I danced like a whore. That was the first time I embarrassed myself in the crowd. I’ve not eaten since lunch and then I burned my stomach just like that.

I had fun though. I had fun with my new friends. I had fun with the people that I’ll be working with. Reality will punch me in the face come Monday and these are the people that I will be bugging in case I find myself trapped with my cases.

I just don’t want to vomit again.

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Normal life, here I come! I didn’t know that after the training I would still get to keep my morning schedule. So yeah, night shifters, be jealous!

Tuwing Umuulan

I'm staring at my window watching the rain fall. Today's one of those days that I fear going out of the house. I hate walking outside when it's wet. I don't like the sound of the pouring rain. I abhor the feeling that the rain gives me. It makes me lonely. It makes me travel far back and reminisce the days I was sad. One by one they steal every bit of happy thoughts I have. I would want to stop it if I could.

I am now feeling cold. I am alone. Until the rain stops, this feeling will never ever change.

Like a lost soul waiting for his lover in a cold, dark, stormy night, I stay still.

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I feel like an "artista" tonight.

Not Too Busy

What have I been doing? Why am I so quiet in here?

My skin is still peeling and I'm loving the student-kind-of-feeling I'm experiencing nowadays. There are a lot of things I need to study for my new program. It's sort of very different from the previous one so I really have to take it seriously. Not bad though because I got a perfect score from our assessment earlier today. I'm still not used to waking up early in the morning but I enjoy going home early in the afternoon.

Training's fun. I have new friends or so-so friends. Maybe soon we'll all be friends but it's kind of refreshing to see new faces.

I got a new internet connection by the way. I have Globe Wimax and it's doing pretty good. I hope it stays this way because I don't want to jump to another provider.

Honestly, I'm running out of ideas- artistic ones-of what to post online. It started when my late connection started having problems. I will surely bring it back whether you care or not.

I'm all set to conquer the digital world!
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Let me share my photo from the trip that I had before the Holy Week.

Magasang, Biri N. Samar