To The Person Who Watched Me Die

This is in response to this: TO PIPOU WHEREVER YOUR SOUL IS.


Thanks for letting me know. While almost everything you mentioned are correct, it doesn't mean that I've flown away from myself. I don't think explaining is necessary but I thought you  should know.


I'm introvert because I am ever since we're kids. I never had any other friends beside you or outside the campus or even outside our clique. I don't go out of the house unless somebody would ask me out. I hate to be around with people i don't know. When I'm with them I shut my ass off (hope you noticed that. Except when I'm with friends). I don't like awkward conversations and silent moments.


You know how I grew up. I never got the chance to get or to have whatever it is that I want to have in my life that even crying millions of worthless tears, I'll still won't get them. It was difficult and frustrating. But that motivated me to where I am right now. I might've have been wishing for a lot of stuff but that was before. Whatever I have at the moment is enough. I couldn't wish for more.


A simple life is like bread without butter. Plain. Tastesless. While life is here, it's not bad to try different things. I don't know if you're referring to being "sosyal" when you compared my "simple" ways of living before but that's not it. I eat at fancy restos ( I don't know if you'll count McDo as fancy), visit malls with big names or wear this and that but hey, life's a celebration. I am here to live and it's not that I do them everyday. You've been like that once upon a time and now is my time.


I struggle a lot when it comes to having courage and showing what I have. Thank you for believing that I am good. I appreciate that you care about my talents. I am aware that I have them but I am not that sure if they're enough for me to be proud of. It's long been my problem and it's not only you who noticed that. Although I am working on being proud of them, I can't promise to do it as early as now. There are a lot of more talented people out there and that makes me a dot in the whole population.


Fancy things do glitter but not permanently. I do realize that. And I don't blind myself with fancy stuff that are useless.


I wasn't the only one who changed. You've grown into such a very strong willed woman. You take my changes negatively when I like them very much. There were traits I didn't like about you but  I've have embraced all those foreign sides. I've fully accepted all unknown and new personalities you've displayed without you noticing it. I don't have to tell you every single thing or write them down to prove the changes you've undergone because that's how life goes. You should know that.


We've changed and I wasn't the only one. You just have to accept the facts of life. I might have new priorities or not-so-big dreams compared to our childhood dreams but they can never change the way I value our friendship and even the way I treat you. I've grown up. I can't have the same views or dreams that I have before but you still have me-your BESTFRIEND.


I can no longer go back. The NOW is where I live. Yesterday's meant to be just a memory. Whatever, whoever and wherever I am right now is here to stay. It's up to you if you'll still take me or not.


I died a very sweet death.