It's Christmas Again

There's really no reason for me to write this because this has always been part of my life's cycle. I'm going to rant again about being alone during Christmas and if you're one of those followers who often check my blog, (Well, I hope that I have even just one follower!) I would suggest that you stop reading this now! You can still proceed though because I'm not insisting that you don't.


I'm excited for this holiday just like you but I'm not into giving gifts. I still believe that intangible stuff make up the biggest gift we could give. (But that's not the case during Christmas!) Other reasons would be because I don't know how to select gifts and I don't want to be a frustration to the receiver. Let's accept the fact that not all receivers willingly receive gifts. They might have given you a smile on their faces but for sure they're thinking of something else-something they want for themselves and not that thing that you want for them. I hope I'm not making this up. I guess this is my bad trait-not giving gifts. You can curse me if you want to.


As I was walking home after work, I played Christmas songs. I suddenly felt the need to cry. I want to cry because this is another Christmas without my family. Another Christmas that will just pass by without seeing my parents and my sister. I saw friends and families walking on the streets and then I saw myself walking alone. I fought back the tears because I don't want to embarrass myself!


I realized I'm not alone after all. I have my friends too but I'm still jealous of those who will be spending this holiday with their families. I wish I could go home.


Today's the day before Christmas and I have not given enough gifts but I believe I've given enough love. I've cared and at least put a smile or laugh to every sad soul I came across with. I've not given material things but I've given myself. That's more than enough I hope.
At Christmas Eve I would still be working. There might be reasons to be sad but there are plenty of reasons to celebrate. I'm waiting for a grandest gift from God. I have a feeling that I'll get one. 


I can always decide whether I'll make Christmas another lonely holiday or the most enjoyable one. I want it different this time. If I can't be the happiest then I'll be happy person who's sad last year.