Life At Work

There are a lot of variables that stuck me thinking today. First is the question ‘What motivates you?’. I was anticipating that our conversation will again lead you to asking me the question I do not know what to answer. It frustrates me not knowing how to respond everytime you snap that query.

Obviously work-related statements like this leave me dumbfounded, yet I will try to answer it now when I still have time to think.

I wake up everyday to spend it with the people that I love. Thus, I go to work because I have friends whom I love spending my time with. I guess you were right when you said that I am serious about my job but I am not really into it. My goal is to just do what I am expected to do and other than that, I am empty.

Thirst is what I feel for what I really want. There are a lot of things I am dying to achieve but at this point in time, I let myself to just stay in the sidelines – because I have no motivation – except to be with my friends.

I remember I told you I just want to be ordinary. I am that person now. My dreams are kept tied until the time comes when I am already tired of keeping them. I have had enough of dreaming but since they said to not let go of our dreams, I am keeping them.

Lately I have never been worried at work. I just get in and get out of the office. I laugh with my seatmates, talk about funny and unserious stuff, whine when we get tired and eat when hungry. Could these be my simple motivation?

One more issue that I am facing is that people can’t tell if I am serious or not. Then I found myself agreeing that part of it might be true. I always make people laugh. I throw jokes that sometimes my comments and answers are no longer being taken seriously. One told me to just let it be. He said that I am just a happy person that I am. I am currently thinking of separating my crazy side with the serious one but it’s going to be boring. Sometimes people just can’t take me for what I am. The same way I feel about myself at times. That’s why it surprises me whenever someone trusts and believes in what I am capable of doing.

Life at work when mixed up with my personal life gets a little heavy. For this reason, I’d rather just let everything be the way I wanted them to be. But it doesn’t mean that I will stay like this forever. I am just letting myself enjoy being normal. Later on, I will claim my spot in the supernatural ladder.

Motivation at work is not on my top priority list. These are my goals as of the moment:

1. Call every service master, waiter, cashier, etc. by their first name. That’s the reason why they have name tags on so why not make use of the opportunity to make someone feel recognized?
2. Smile to a stranger inside the jeepney asking you to pass his/her fare to the driver.
3. Make someone laugh/happy.
4. Block negativism, embrace reality and slay fantasy.
5. Save money so that any time soon I could leave my job whenever I want to.

These may change but these are what motivate me to wake up everyday. Simple joys bear more contentment than luxurious temporal things.

Let’s talk about work and I would just limit my answer when you ask. Let’s talk about life and I will tell you everything that’s in my mind.