Chanceux

Due to heavy workload, I always end up going to work grumpy. I complain a lot. Sometimes I even have this near-to-fighting experience with some customers because I just can’t control my temper. So everyday’s like a day of hatred and stress. A hell day as what I would often say. I would wish for the other way but all I face is reality.

At the end of the day I still survive. As a matter of fact, our program celebrated its fifth year anniversary earlier. That means I’ve been working my ass off for almost four years now. “Well this is something new!”, that’s what I said to myself. A two-fold celebration: the beginning and the suffering. We are commemorating the day we first started while we are facing such a never-ending volume of work everyday. Others including me weren’t able to watch the program because we still have work to do. Poor them! Others were outside eating and enjoying the celebration. I was lucky that I joined the “design your own mask” contest and I was asked to pause for awhile but I went back to continue the work I’ve left. Sweet!

But what made this day worth remembering?

It was a shocking experience to know that I was given two awards and I won third place for the “MasqueRave” contest. I wasn’t there to receive the awards but it’s not a big deal anymore. My beloved friends accepted them for me. I was surprised and overwhelmed. I feel so fortunate that even though I am tired everyday and I complain and get mad every second of everyday, I still earned something for myself and that’s one thing that I should be proud of. That should motivate me to do my job no matter how stressful it maybe because I am capable of doing things that others are not.

That’s one of the reasons why I’m holding on. Oh yes! I am still holding on. I am still hoping that one day things will turn out the way they were before. Quitting will always be in my mind but whenever I look at the people I love, it disappears for awhile. At least they’re always there to make me laugh and smile whenever I carry this sad long face.

Despite all the challenges I am going through right now,  I still feel so blessed. So I’m not going to raise my white flag yet. At least not for now. Not when my stars are still shinning.